Greggy Bovino is tired of the mockery he and his agents are suffering. As noted by ICE policy, the Federal People Catcher Division will hire anyone as long as they are at least 4ft in any direction. To help support this message of openness toward those of less than ideal stature, Bovino is now marketing…
Failing to secure the Nobel Peace Prize, the Norwegian Nobel Prize committee has awarded Donald J. Trump with the concession prize, Nobel Piece of Shit Prize. This was done mainly to stop Trump from calling everyone with the last name of “Nobel” (and also “Noble” due to a reading error) demanding they hand him an…
“We’re just out of food.” This was the statement given by Otho McGravy, head of the FM-LSE Union. “We’ve brought on so many plus-sized agents, we’re simply having resources collapse on the job from lack of food. And also diabetes and general poor health. The FM-LSE (Fat Men /w Low Self-Esteem) Union has heard numerous…
Secretary of Cosplay and Reich Security, Kristi Noem, has had it with the low pay she receives as a civil servant. Noem pointed to her head, stating, “My head was made for hats!” This drew an end to the long running debate of what was the purpose of Noem’s head. There was a moment where…
JD Vance is up in arms again, this time aiming his ire and heavy weight furniture manufacturer, LA-Z-Boy. The successful couch and comfy chair manufacturer has recently declined Vance’s request to wrap all of their furniture in plastic. Partly to bring back the “grandmother’s house plastic couch you stick to” nostalgia, but also to provide…
Donald J Trump has been working with a team of specialists at Jims Hopkins Community College Medical to be the first ever recipient of an asshole transplant. The donor asshole was a hog from central Wyoming. Unfortunately, there has been a snag with the plan. During DNA and tissue match testing, it was found that…
Pictures of JD Vance have surfaced recently on the internet, sans beard. Many have speculated that the chubby-faced Number 2 was actually the humanish version of the psychotic murder doll, “Chucky”. Photos have proven this false as it turns out that Vance just has a very doughy face.