Secretary of Cosplay and Reich Security, Kristi Noem, has had it with the low pay she receives as a civil servant. Noem pointed to her head, stating, “My head was made for hats!” This drew an end to the long running debate of what was the purpose of Noem’s head.
There was a moment where Noem considered asking Donald J. Trump for a raise or a new jet from Qatar, but was rebuffed with an evil laugh by Stephen Miller who then consumed a small goat. A spokesperson for what’s left of the White House said that Miller’s goat consumption was routine and nothing to be alarmed over- as long as one doesn’t make eye contact during the feeding.